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Hey Baby! Music
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"MacKenzie struts his stuff like a modern-day Robert Johnson..."

Dave Rubin
Guitar One, July ’03

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"Dave MacKenzie chops a lot of sound out of an old acoustic, and Old, New, Borrowed & Blue rings with pure six-string joy"

Blues Revue

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". . . a real treat from an artist who is a songster in the old tradition."

Blues Gazette (Belgium)

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"Boy is this music refreshing! Take my word for it - if you like country blues with a sense of humor, you"ll love this."

Blue Suede News

 

 

 

 

Click the linked titles to hear the songs in RealAudio.
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songs with posted lyrics are noted ... click the link!

Solo - BUY IT NOW!
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Solo

1. That Rainy Day's Comin'
2. HooDoo Girl
3. Two Girl Friends
4. Little Laura
5. Big Ol' Girls - lyrics
6. Two Drags
7. Rats in my Bedroom - lyrics
8. Baby, Why'd you Change - lyrics
9. Back in the Day
10. If Jesus Comes Back - lyrics
11. Too Young to Know
12. She Ain't No Southern Girl
13. Jumpin' on Jefferson
14. Stumblin' Home
15. A Better Way

----------------------------------------------------------
ONB&B
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Old, New, Borrowed & Blue

1. Coal Black Mare
2. Preachin' To The Choir - lyrics
3. New Cairo Blues
4. Girlfriend Blues - lyrics
5. The Ballad of Jetlag Johnson - lyrics
6. Steel Guitar Rag / I'm So Glad
7. Loaded & Laid - lyrics
8. Me & The Devil
9. Pretty All Day Long - lyrics
10. If I Lose My Way - lyrics
11. Turn Your Money Green / Kassie Jones
12. No Need To Worry - lyrics
13. West Texas Boogie
14. Ruby's Rag / Tennessee Moon - lyrics
15. I Can't Be Satisfied
16. Xmas Blues - lyrics

----------------------------------------------------------
ANSMB
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All New Slender Man Blues

1. Start the Party - lyrics
2. Pay Your Own Way - lyrics
3. King of the Blues (i Ain't Even Tryin') - lyrics
4. Don't Say Nothin' Bad - lyrics
5. I Don't Like Little Kids - lyrics
6. Honeymoon Mambo - lyrics
7. Slender Man Blues - lyrics
8. Falling Off the Wagon - lyrics
9. Blues Give a Lesson - lyrics
10. What She Likes to Do - lyrics
11. Bad Loser - lyrics
12. Sure 'nuff Shame - lyrics

----------------------------------------------------------

OUT OF PRINT

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Rats in My Bedroom

1. Friday Night in Nashville - lyrics
2. Baby, Why'd You Change - lyrics
3. All Washed Up - lyrics
4. Mardi Gras Starts Tomorrow - lyrics
5. Rats in My Bedroom - lyrics
6. When I'm in Dixie
7. Hey, Fannie Mae
8. If Jesus Comes Back(as a Mexican Man) - lyrics
9. Big Ol' Girls - lyrics
10. I Need Some Now - lyrics
11. Get Right With God - lyrics

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- LYRICS -

Preachin’ To The Choir

by Dave MacKenzie & Richard Fleming
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

I got a next door neighbor, he talks all day long
Always there to tell me whenever I go wrong
Tells me how to do my job & how to live my life
He knows everything but how to get along with his own wife
chorus
Spittin’ in the river, throwin’ matches on a fire
Ain’t doin’ much of nothing, just preachin’ to the choir
Them boys down on the corner got it all worked out
They know all the angles, what everything’s about
They never have much money, never have much fun
But they’ll be glad to tell you just exactly how it’s done
chorus
Spittin’ in the river, throwin’ matches on a fire
Ain’t doin’ much of nothing, just preachin’ to the choir
My baby came in last night, drunk as she could be
Staggered in and rolled those big ol’ bloodshot eyes at me
(She) said “Now, don’t be angry, I don’t want to fight
And this is how you come home looking every Friday night”
chorus
Spittin’ in the river, throwin’ matches on a fire
Ain’t doin’ much of nothing, just preachin’ to the choir - BACK TO TOP


Girlfriend Blues

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
I came in early last night, guess I did find
My girlfriend’s in the bedroom having a great big time
She was squealing, she was moaning, she was really having a ball
And people, I ain’t told you the best surprise of all
chorus
Nowadays, gettin’ hard to tell who is who
And I just found out my girlfriend’s got a girlfriend, too
verse 2
I ain’t no little farmboy on his first trip into town
Takes a lot to shock me, I’m a man that’s been around
But what them two was doin’ I did not know could be done
And as good as they’re both lookin’, I could not blame either one
chorus
Nowadays, gettin’ hard to tell who is who
And I just found out my girlfriend’s got a girlfriend, too
verse 3
My girlfriend turned the light on that’s when I let out a laugh and shout
And she just laid wondering “What’s he laughin’ about?”
Then her girlfriend told her, “Baby, life is funny as can be.
Here you’ve been cheatin’ with me on this man
who cheats on you with me.”
last chorus
Nowadays, gettin’ hard to tell who is who
And I just found out my girlfriend’s got a girlfriend, too
Yeah, and she just found out her little girlfriend’s got a boyfriend, too - BACK TO TOP


The Ballad of Jetlag Johnson

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning and I’m falling off a plane
Just got in to Germany in time to catch a train
Run me up to Brussels, meet a boy named Jean-Pierre
Got earrings in his eyebrows and green and purple hair
chorus
I said I’m Jetlag Johnson and I just come from Tennessee
And I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m hungry as a man can be
verse 2
Them French boys eat their horses and Dutch boys smoke that grass
and Belgians make some beer can knock a grown man on his ass
Hotel rooms so small you step outside to change your mind
They ring them church bells all day long but nothing runs on time
chorus
I said I’m Jetlag Johnson and I just come from Tennessee
And I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m hungry as a man can be
verse 3
You fly out of Amsterdam and find yourself in France
Police man in Paris put his hand right in your pants
Go on up to Norway, gonna get the same damn thing
They make you take your clothes off then they ask you can you sing
chorus
I said I’m Jetlag Johnson and I just come from Tennessee
And I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m hungry as a man can be
verse 4
Two things I don’t joke about, I’m never in the mood
Don’t be funny with my money, don’t get funny with my food
Pay me what you owe me, come up with all my fees
And you can keep your moose meat sausage and your smelly old brown cheese
chorus
I said I’m Jetlag Johnson and I just come from Tennessee
And I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m hungry as a man can be - BACK TO TOP


Loaded and Laid

by Dave Mackenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

verse 1
I finally found out what's wrong with me
I need to get loaded and laid
That's the only way that I can see
to face this world unafraid
It might sound funny from a man my age
Y'think its a joke, honey, meet me backstage
I finally found out what's wrong with me
I need to get loaded and laid
verse 2
Something's been bothering me the last few days
I need to get tortured and teased
Some of these women got a dozen new ways
To keep a man sweaty and pleased
So whip out your fake fur, your lashes and lace
You can smear peanut butter and jelly all over my face
Something's been bothering me the last few days
I need to get tortured and teased
verse 3
I finally found out what my main complaint was
I need to get ravaged and ruined
I forgot all about the need for restraint
I need to have my sweet milk churned
I've tried persuasion, even thought about assault
The way you ladies look it's only 'bout half my fault
I finally found out what my main complaint was
I need to get ravaged and ruined
verse 4
I finally found out what's wring with me
I need to get loaded and laid
Now, I'd or never brought the subject up y'see
But its been up on its own for days
Honey, I don't want to stand, stoop, or sit
Just please don't stop 'til I got to beg you to quit
I finally found out what's wrong with me
I need to get loaded and laid - BACK TO TOP


Pretty All Day Long

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
First thing in the morning
I see your smiling face
It can be a gray old rainy day
You light up the place
chorus
You stay pretty all day long, pretty all day long
I don’t know how you do it, girl,
You stay pretty all day long
verse 2
Anytime I’m loney
Feeling sad and blue
Sure enough, it cheers me up
When I look at you
chorus
You stay pretty all day long, pretty all day long
I don’t know how you do it, girl,
You stay pretty all day long
verse 3&4
It don’t seem to matter
How you comb your hair
You make all the men go crazy
They just stop and stare
It don’t seem to matter
Kinda clothes you wear
Y’make other women jealous, baby,
They say it just ain’t fair
chorus
You stay pretty all day long, pretty all day long
I don’t know how you do it, girl,
You stay pretty all day long - BACK TO TOP


If I Lose My Way

by Dave MacKenzie and Adie Grey
© 1995 Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
If I lose my way, I shall be found
If I lose my way, I shall be found
On the darkest day in the hardest part of town
If I lose my way, I shall be found
verse 2
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free
If I speak His name, it’s sure to comfort me
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free
verse 3
If I lose my way, I shall be found
If I lose my way, I shall be found
Tho' my feet may stray, there will be no turnin’ ‘round
If I lose my way, I shall be found
verse 4
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free
This world of pain cannot imprison me
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free
verse 5
If I lose my way, I shall be found
If I lose my way, I shall be found
On the darkest day in the hardest part of town
If I lose my way, I shall be found
If I lose my way, I shall be found. - BACK TO TOP


No Need To Worry

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

Money’s short & times are sure tough
Ain’t nothing new, just the same old stuff
People are struggling, man, they’re just barely getting by
There’s no need to worry, blues won’t never die
This is a wicked world & life ain’t fair
You won’t find no justice, not anywhere
People are suffering and they can’t tell the reason why
So there’s no need to worry, blues won’t never die
bridge
I won’t lift a finger to keep the blues alive
I’d rather live in a world where the blues could not survive
If it took away the heartache, all the pain & misery
The blues could die tomorrow, that would be alright with me
As long as some folks got to sleep out in the street
As long as children can’t find enough to eat
Just as long as lovers still make each other cry
Won’t be no need to worry, blues won’t never die - BACK TO TOP


Underneath the Tennessee Moon

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

Verse 1
Lightening bugs are flashing, evening breezes rise
relaxing is the fashion, ain't a cloud up in the skies
I'm sitting on this front porch swing
Listening to a whippoorwill sing
Verse 2
I'll pour us both a strong one, its been that kind of day
we've both worked a long one, worried every which-a-way
Hey, Baby, what we need to do
Is slip away, just me and you
Chorus
Where we can kick off our shoes and go waltzing around
Underneath the Tennessee Moon
'cause if you got the blues or you are feeling low down
It's guaranteed to change that tune
I don't need no nightclub, no fancy downtown scene
I know a spot that's quiet, where the grass is cool and green
and we can kick off our shoes and go waltzing around
Underneath the Tennessee Moon
Verse 3
First thing in the morning, I jump back in the race
but I run the whole day long with a smile upon my face
'cause when this day is finally through
I know what we're going to do
Chorus
Were gonna kick off our shoes and go waltzing around
Underneath the Tennessee moon
'cause if you've got the blues or you are feeling low down
It's guaranteed to change that tune
Tell me I'm old fashioned, that's alright
It may not be real hip, but what I want to do tonight
is just kick off our shoes and go waltzing around
Underneath the Tennessee moon
Underneath the Tennessee moon - BACK TO TOP


Christmas Blues

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
Daddy got drunk and knocked down the Christmas tree
Daddy got drunk and knocked down the Christmas tree
Mama got mad and blamed it all on me
verse 2
Little brother Billy snuck off with that chocolate cake
Little brother Billy snuck off with that chocolate cake
Got himself a beating and a great big bellyache
bridge
I got the Christmas blues, blue as blue can be
The Christmas blues, I’m telling you,
they’re bad enough to last through New Year’s eve
verse 3
Aunt Rosie said “Take a look at your uncle Jim”
Aunt Rosie said “Take a look at your uncle Jim”
“ If you don’t watch out, you’re gonna wind up bad as him”
verse 4
Grandma’s passed out underneath the draft beer keg
Grandma’s passed out underneath the draft beer keg
Grandpa’s in the parlor, grabbing some young girl’s leg
verse 5
I got a big ugly cousin goes two hundred pounds or so
I got a but ugly cousin goes two hundred pounds or so
She keep trying to drag me underneath the mistletoe
bridge
I got the Christmas blues, blue as blue can be
The Christmas blues, I’m telling you,
they’re bad enough to last through New Year’s eve
verse 6
Daddy got drunk and knocked down the Christmas tree
Daddy got drunk and knocked down the Christmas tree
Mama got mad and blamed it all on me - BACK TO TOP


Start the Party

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
Hey, Mr. Bandleader up on the stage
I'm 3/4th's drunk and feeling 1/2 my age
so turn it up man, it takes a great big sound
to make them little girls want to shake 'em down
chorus
Start the party, hey man, start the party
I don't know about you, but I'm way overdue
(Got no reason why, I just want to get high)
(Got no good excuse, I just need to get loose)
Start the party
verse 2
Hey bartender, want to be your friend
I got 20 dollar bills laying end to end
so don't you hesitate, don't you have no doubt
keep filling my glass 'til I knock myself out
repeat chorus
bridge
Well, I'm a city boy
with them old time country blues
the night is young, but there ain't no time to lose
I want to wear out my dancing shoes
verse 3
Sweet young thing, well, you're sure looking good
if you want to have fun, well, I wish you would
The band’s gonna jam one of my favorite songs
I'm about to go crazy, would you like to come along
repeat chorus - BACK TO TOP


Pay Your Own Way

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
Lookit here, baby, Let's get this straight
You gotta bring a little money when we go on a date
You gotta pay your own way, you gotta pay your own way
You gotta pay your own way if you want to go out with me
verse 2
I ain't jiving and it ain't no joke
I ain't lying, I'm damn near broke
You gotta pay your own way, you gotta pay your own way
You gotta pay your own way if you want to go out with me
verse 3
Lookit here, honey, now I'm talking to you
If I buy a drink, you better buy one too
You gotta pay your own way, you gotta pay your own way
You gotta pay your own way if you want to go out with me
verse 4
Let's be fair about it, what you say
I'm drinking draft beer, you're drinking Grand Marnier
You gotta pay your own way, you gotta pay your own way
You gotta pay your own way if you want to go out with me - BACK TO TOP


The King of the Blues (I Ain't Even Trying)

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

verse 1
Well, I love Muddy Waters and I love B.B. King
but I don't play like they play
and I don't sing like they sing
and I love Duane Allman, and I love Stevie Ray
but I don't sing like they sing
and I don't play like they play
I got to play my own way
I got to pay my own dues
and I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues
I said, I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues
chorus
The King of the Blues, the King of the Blues
Now, there's a thorny crown that I would never choose
If someone's got to do it, let it be one of youse
I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues
solo
verse 2

Ain't got no greased back hair, no Harley Davidson shirt
Ain't got no Stratocaster blasting 'til your eardrums hurt
Don't wear no dark sunglasses when its late at night
Man, I don't see that good in the broad daylight
Ain't got no sharkskin suit
Don't wear no two-tone shoes
and I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues
I said, I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues
chorus
The King of the Blues, the King of the Blues
Now, there's a thorny crown that I would never choose
If someone's got to do it, let it be one of youse
I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues
spoken tag
Now look here, there's already a King of the Blues,
a one and only one, King of the Blues
and everybody (on this planet, at least)
knows who that is
Now should he decide that he wants to hang it up,
if y'all want to try to take his place, go ahead, good luck
Myself, I'm still trying to figure out some of the licks
on "Live at the Regal"
Besides, man, I'd feel silly running around
calling myself something like
Big-Bad-Little-Blind-Lefty-Mojo-Lightening-Guitar-Slim-Shorty
Houserockin'-Heartbreakin'-Bumblebee Johnson, Jr
I don't think so - BACK TO TOP


Don't Say Nothin' Bad (About My Baby)

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
You can make a joke about the clothes I wear
Have yourself a laugh at how I comb my hair
Say anything you want about me, I don't care
but, don't you say nothin' bad about my baby
verse 2
You can call me a lowdown, crooked as a snake
A fraud and a philistine, a phony and a fake
Say any effing thing y'want, but give yourself a break
and don't you say nothin' bad about my baby
bridge 1
'cause if you do, then me and you
is gonna go round and round
and it won't stop until some copper
comes to pick you big behind back up off the ground
verse 3
So you can talk about me 'til you face turns blue
You can slander every single thing I do
Say I look like a dog and smell like one, too
But don't you say nothin' bad about my baby
solo
bridge 2

I said, if you do, then me and you
is gonna go round and round
and it won't stop until some copper
helps you look for your choppers in the lost and found
verse and tag
See, I'm the baddest apple in my family tree
I'm the missing link in our history
So I don't mind you trying to make monkey out of me
but don't you say nothin' bad about my baby
You can call me a liar, call me a cheat
Say I'm mean and I'm evil from my head to my feet
I'm tellin' you one time and I don't mean maybe
Don't say nothin' bad 'cause you'll only make me mad
And then you'll wisht you never had
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby - BACK TO TOP


I Don't Like Little Kids

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

I don't like little kids
Don't like them now and I never did
Let them go play in the street and have fun
I didn't even like them when I used to be one
I said I don't like little kids
Some peoples' kids you can take them out in public
they'll sit and be cool the whole while
Other peoples' children get inflicted upon you
while their parents just sit back and smile
They say, don't you rub your carrots in that man's hair
stop pouring your milk in his shoe
Yeah, c'mon over here and sit on Uncle David's foot
Were gonna talk about a thing or two
I don't like little kids
don't like them now and I never did
Overpopulation, hell, I'm not to blame
Let them all go back to wherever they came from
I don't like little kids
Kids got to go to school every day
they got to hang out with their parents all night
You'd think somewhere in between those two
Somebody'd teach them how to act right
Children got a right to get left alone
and not to always get told what to do
But that don't mean us grown-ups gonna take no baloney
'cause if nothing else we're bigger than you
I don't like little kids
don't like them now and I never did
Oh, they go alright with a nice white wine
with potatoes and gravy they can taste just fine
But I don't like little kids - BACK TO TOP


Honeymoon Mambo

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
The lady I love, she ain’t no little schoolgirl child
She’s a sure ‘nuf full grown woman, just my size and style
She get her love light lit, she never wants to quit
chorus
She likes her lovin’ in the afternoon,
She want’s a little in the evening, too
Late at night her overdrive kicks in
Come morning light she wants to start again
She ‘bout to kill me with the way she do
Now these might be my final words to you
I’ll keep on keeping on the best I can
And if I die I’ll die a happy man
verse 2
When it’s loving time, this girl ain’t no way shy
She’ll step right up and say what she wants, give ya four, five reasons why
Then she’ll give me a kiss, and then I can’t resist
chorus
She likes her lovin’ in the afternoon,
She want’s a little in the evening, too
Late at night her overdrive kicks in
Come morning light she wants to start again
She ‘bout to kill me with the way she do
Now these might be my final words to you
I’ll keep on keeping on the best I can
And if I die I’ll die a happy man - BACK TO TOP


Slender Man Blues

by Dave MacKenzie
© 1988 D. MacKenzie

verse 1
Well, I stand up six feet two
I only weigh 165
But I got something good for you
Make you glad that you're alive
Oh, baby, don't you put me down 'cause I'm a slender man
I'll do something for you darling
ain't none of those big boys can
verse 2
Honey, once you get me started
I won't stop until you do
You don't need some guy the size of a frigidare
laying all on top of you
No you don't baby,
don't you put me down 'cause I'm a slender man
I'll do something for you darling
ain't none of those big boys can
verse 3
I heard this one woman talking
Said she thought she'd leave them skinny men alone
She don't know you want to find the sweetest meat
you got to get down closest to the bone
Don't you put me down 'cause I'm a slender man
I'll do something for you darling
ain't none of those big boys can
verse 4
I heard this other woman talking
(She said "Bigger's better;
What you get is what you see.")
She never heard that old southern expression
'bout the man was all root and no tree
Honey, don't you put me down 'cause I'm a slender man
I'll do something for you darling,
ain't none of those big boys can - BACK TO TOP


Fallin’ off the Wagon

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© 1995 Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

Well, I'm fallin’ off the wagon tonight
I'm gonna go get high as a kite
Even when I'm sober, nobody treats me right
I'm fallin’ off the wagon tonight
I'm fallin’ off the wagon for sure
Honey, I'll drink anything that they can pour
at every little honky-tonk that's got an open door
I'm fallin’ off the wagon for sure
A man can only stand just so much strain
Till it weakens his heart and it works on his brain
Then he don't know to choose should he laugh or he cry
Well, if I'm gonna be confused at least I want to know why
So I'm fallin’ off the wagon again
I'll pour myself a bathtub full of gin
first I'll take a deep breath , then I'll dive right in
I'm fallin’ off the wagon again
Well I hear the same ol' thing from every body I know
they tell me it's a shame the way I let myself go
They say "you look like you startin' to lose it"
Well, you know what I think?
That kind of talk's enough to drive a person to drink
So I am fallin’ off the wagon again
I'll get as high as I have ever been
I may not drown my sorrows but I'll teach 'em how to swim
I'm fallin’ off the wagon again
well, I may not drown my sorrows
but they'll sure learn how to swim
I'm fallin’ off the wagon again - BACK TO TOP


Blues Give a Lesson

by Dave MacKenzie
© 1995 Hey Baby! Ditties

You might be a playboy, a big time Romeo
drive those ladies crazy everywhere you go
Man, before you know it
your playing days are through
those sweet young things will say
"I don't want some old fool like you."
Y'better count your blessings
Tomorrow might be your turn
Them blues give a lesson
everybody's got to learn
You might be Mr. Normal, middle of the road
You wake up one fine morning, ready to explode
gonna quit your job, gonna leave your wife
grab some little bombshell
and blow apart your life
Y'better count your blessings
Tomorrow might be your turn
Them blues give a lesson
everybody's got to learn
Do everything they tell you, do everything you should
There's still a million ways that you can mess yourself up good
You never signed no contract, you got no guarantees
One day walking tall and the next down on your knees
You might have lots of money, buy you anything you want
A mansion on the hill with big ol' cadillac out front
But son your time is comin', to lay your burden down
Won't all your million dollars raise you back up out the ground.
Y'better count your blessings
Tomorrow might be your turn
Them blues give a lesson
everybody's got to learn - BACK TO TOP


What She Likes to Do All Night

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

verse 1
I'm an older man, but boys I'm telling you
I got a sweet young girlfriend, she loves me thru and thru
'cause she likes to do her loving slow
and that's the only rate of speed I go
What she likes to do all night
takes me all night to do
verse 2
Well, I'm 53, the little girl's just 22
You can laugh at me, I'll smile right back at you
Yeah, I may be past my prime
But I still know how to take my time
What she likes to do all night
takes me all night to do
bridge
I said what she likes to do all night
Can take me all night to do
So she never has to worry
I'm never in no hurry
to run around town after someone new
verse 3
Now all you younger girls, listen to what I'm telling you
Find you an older man, still got him a trick or two
but there's a fire burning bright below
what she likes to do all night
takes me all night to do
I said what she likes to do all night
can take me all night to do - BACK TO TOP


Bad Loser

by Dave Mackenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)

verse 1
They tell me
Jealousy has gone out of style
It's something these girls can't stand
You're s'posed to give 'em your heart
and then stand back and smile
When they're leaving with another man
Well, I guess that I'm old fashioned
I must be coming from some small town place
'cause when I see my baby leaving
with some drunked up little creep
I tell that joker straight in his face
chorus
I'm a bad loser, I slashed all your tires
I'm a bad loser, I trashed all your wires
I'm a bad loser, I smashed your headlights
And I hope you got some cab fare
'cause she ain't going nowhere tonight
verse 2
I've been in and out of traction
I've been in and out of jail
I've been in and out and in and out
of trouble with my baby
She has never know me to fail
chorus
I'm a bad loser, I slashed all your tires
I'm a bad loser, I trashed all your wires
I'm a bad loser, I smashed your headlights
And I hope you got some cab fare
'cause she ain't going nowhere tonight
verse 3
Now, who's that at my front door?
Y'say she's s'posed to go out with you?
Well, make yourself at home,
would you excuse me for a minute?
I've got some work on a car to do.
chorus
I'm a bad loser, I slashed all your tires
I'm a bad loser, I trashed all your wires
I'm a bad loser, I smashed your headlights
And I hope you got some cab fare
'cause she ain't going nowhere tonight
They tell me jelousy has gone out of style ... - BACK TO TOP


Sure ‘Nuff Shame

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

Well the cops is in the courthouse
the crook got bail
the judge jumped bad
and put the jury in jail
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame
Yeah, he admitted the murder
had no excuse,
they called the boy crazy
and they turnin’ him loose
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame
yeah the politicians said
he’s gonna bring better days,
well the first thing he does
is give his fool self a raise
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame
there’s a gangster on the corner
sellin’ crack-cocaine
with the police out
bustin’ up a bingo game
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame
Well the preacher tells people
got to keep it in their jeans
then we caught him with a chippie
down in New Orleans
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame - BACK TO TOP


Friday Night In Nashville

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

Gonna do some serious runnin’ around
Hit every single joint in town
Tear ‘em all up and close ‘em all down
It’s Friday night in Nashville
Gonna break some hearts and some guitar strings
Gonna laugh and dance and drink and sing
And I don’t want to miss a doggone thing
It’s Friday Night in Nashville
bridge
I don’t want to hear no country band
Them drugstore cowboys sing the songs too slow
When I get wound up and want to dance
Then don’t intend to do no do-se-do
I got some bootleg whiskey and some good homebrew
We’ll catch a catfish pizza at the barbecue
Ain’t no telling what all we’ll do
It’s Friday night in Nashville
I got three good tires and a full tank of gas
I’m gonna honk my horn at every cop I pass
And if he don’t like it he can kiss my ass
It’s Friday night in Nashville
When I call from jail, honey, bring bail fast
It’s Friday night in Nashville - BACK TO TOP


Baby, Why’d You Change

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

You used to tell me you were my best friend
Now you’re acting like I’m something that the cat dragged in
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind
You used to say you loved just like I am
You been looking at me lately like you don’t give a damn
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind
bridge
Is it ‘cause I wrecked your car
Is it ‘cause my job shut down
or ‘cause I’ve been seen in our neighborhood barwith cute little blonde from the east side of town
Or is it ‘cause I didn’t come home for a week
is that the reason you’re so unkind
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind
You used to say my love was too sweet to lose
Now you treat me like I’m something that you scraped off your shoes
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind
bridge
Is it ‘cause I get too drunk
and practice walking into walls
Is it ‘cause I holler “No, there’s nobody home”
and I hang up the phone when your mama calls
Or was it that letter you got from my wife
saying all my kids were just fine
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind - BACK TO TOP


All Washed Up

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

I’m all washed up in this town
my reputation’s all run down
You won’t see no smiling when I come around
‘ cause I’m all washed up in this town
Ain’t nobody happy I’m here
They’ve made it perfectly clear
I’d do ‘em all a favor if I’d just disappear
There ain’t nobody happy I’m here
Once upon a time I was a bundle of joy
I was a blue-eyed baby and a curly-haired boy
Somewhere ‘long the line people started to change
Now the ones that don’t cuss me just look at me strange
I’ve worn out my welcome for sure
I don’t even ask for credit no more
I’m lucky they still take my cash at the store
I’ve worn out my welcome for sure
If I take a notion just to pack up and leave
There won’t be no crying, won’t nobody grieve
They’ll throw themselves a party, be some carrying on, and put a sign outside the church that say “Thank God he’s gone”
‘ cause I’m all washed up in this town
the police ‘bout to run me down
they say you better get lost and don’t never be found They’re ‘bout to pass a law against me coming around
My name and reputation is a deep, muddy brown
I’m all washed up
I’m all washed up
I’m all washed upin this town
I’m lucky they still take my cash at the store
I’ve worn out my welcome for sure - BACK TO TOP


Mardi Gras Starts Tomorrow

by Dave MacKenzie and Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

I just can’t wait ‘til the morning comes
I’ll march along beside that big bass drum
Won’t stop parading ‘til the band gets done
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow
I saved my money up for one whole year
Bought me a ticket and I came down here
I’m so excited now the time is near
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow
They ain’t begun it yet
but I’m already glad that I came
I got this funny feeling
I may never be the same
Get me some gumbo in a Dixie cup
Fix me a hurricane that’s strong enough
If I fall down just pick me right back up
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow
They ain’t begun it yet
but I’m already glad that I came
I got this funny feeling
I may never be the same
I’ll hit those streets just like a rolling stone
I’ll keep moving ‘til I’m good and gone
Well I may never even go back home
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow
You tell my homeboys now they’re on his own
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow - BACK TO TOP


Rats in my Bedroom

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

I got rats in my bedroom
roaches keep me woke at night
said I got rats in my bedroom
roaches keep me woke at night
I seen some things out in my kitchen
would steal a starving man’s appetite
now them people up north think they got some big bugs
you oughta see these bugs we got down south
I had a cockroach walk across my kitchen table,
had a hamhock in its mouth
and I got rats in my bedroom . . .
now them roaches jumped down on the rat’s back,
and they raced them around the floor
they killed, and skinned, and ate my cat
and they drove my dog outdoors
I got rats in my bedroom . . .
Well they ate up all my D-KON,
then they drank up all my Raid
when they started snorting up that Black Flag,
well that’s when I got afraid.
They said, “Son, if you tryin’ to kill us,
you need to get some strong stuff in this place.
The only way we dyin’ right now,
is from laughin’ in your face.”
I got rats in my bedroom . . .
Baby, don’t turn on that light - BACK TO TOP


If Jesus Comes Back (as a Mexican Man)

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

If Jesus comes back as a Mexican man
What will you have to say
You’re gonna have to sign up for a Spanish class
And practice every day
The gates of heaven might be found
In Juarez or L.A.
And if Jesus ...have to day
If Jesus comes back and this time he’s black what are you gonna do
If you won’t listen to his rap
How can he talk to you
Everything’s gonna be different
When this world is through
And if Jesus ...gonna do
Suppose this time the King of Kings
Turns out to be a Queen
And she don’t look a thing
Like all those pictures you’ve seen
Y’know sometimes it’s hard to recognize
Just who is who
But just because you can’t see her
Don’t mean she wont see you
If Jesus is born homeless
For a second time around
In some abandoned building
That they plan on tearing down
Y’better pray He ain’t arrested
When he hits your side of town
If Jesus is born homeless
For a second tome around - BACK TO TOP


Big Ol’ Girls

By Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

I like to look at those ladies in the magazines
Some of them’s the sweetest women I have ever seen
But in real life here’s the deal
The truth about how I feel
Ain’t no skinny legged fashion model
Ever be the girl of my dreams
I like them big ol’ girls and their sweet round faces
I like them big ol’ girls and all their sweet round places
When push comes to shove you get much more to love with a big ol’ girl
I like them big ol’ girls they can rock you strong
I like them big ol’ girls they roll you all night long
Well you heard me right, I said you can’t go wrong with a big ol’ girl
The kind of girl who can steal away this heart of mine
Is the kind of girl who’ll never squeeze into a dress size 9
When people tell me less is more
I tell ‘em that depends who’s keeping score
I like them great big figures
When I’m looking at that bottom line
I like them big ol’ girls and their sweet round faces
I like them big ol’ girls and all their sweet round places
When push comes to shove you get much more to love
with a big ol’ girl
I like them big ol’ girls they can rock you strong
I like them big ol’ girls they roll you all night long
Well you heard me right, I said you can’t go wrong with a big ol’ girl
- BACK TO TOP


I Need Some Now

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

Since I was a baby I’ve been told
Y’gotta work your whole life, until you’re old
Save up all your money and when you’re done
There might be time enough for you to have some fun
chorus
I need some now
I need some now
Don’t you tell me no tomorrow
I need some now
The rent on my room it was overdue
The landlady said I want to talk to you
She said, “I need my money, let me make this clear;
if you ain’t got no money then you’re out of here.”
chorus
I had this fine looking woman, we was doing alright
I was over at her house nearly every night
When we’d start loving she would stop and say
“ Don’t you think we ought to wait until our wedding day?”
chorus
Since I was a baby I’ve been told
The streets of heaven are lined with gold
They got everything you want behind those Pearly Gates
All you got to do is be good and wait - BACK TO TOP


Get Right With God

by Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP

You better get right with God before it’s too late,
Quit your crooked path, start walking straight
Stop stayin’ out late, playin’ them cards, drinkin’ that liquor, livin’ so hard
You better sure get right with God before it’s too late
If you wanna save your soul you got to pray,
And the Good Book says there ain’t no other way.
When you hear the call, you can rise or you can fall
But if you wanna save your soul you got to pray.
He don’t care if you’re pretty,
he don’t think you’re so smart.
He don’t care what’s in your wallet,
He can see what’s in your heart.
You better sure get right with god before it’s too late
Said life’s too short and there’s no time to waste
Said now what you gonna say, when he looks you in your eyes one day
You better sure get right with god before it’s too late - BACK TO TOP


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