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Lyrics

The Ballad of Jetlag Johnson

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning and I’m falling off a plane 
Just got in to Germany in time to catch a train 
Run me up to Brussels, meet a boy named Jean-Pierre 
Got earrings in his eyebrows and green and purple hair 

chorus 

I said I’m Jetlag Johnson and I just come from Tennessee 
And I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m hungry as a man can be 

verse 2
 
Them French boys eat their horses and Dutch boys smoke that grass 
and Belgians make some beer can knock a grown man on his ass 
Hotel rooms so small you step outside to change your mind 
They ring them church bells all day long but nothing runs on time 

chorus 

I said I’m Jetlag Johnson and I just come from Tennessee 
And I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m hungry as a man can be 

verse 3 

You fly out of Amsterdam and find yourself in France 
Police man in Paris put his hand right in your pants 
Go on up to Norway, gonna get the same damn thing 
They make you take your clothes off then they ask you can you sing 

chorus
 
I said I’m Jetlag Johnson and I just come from Tennessee 
And I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m hungry as a man can be 

verse 4
 
Two things I don’t joke about, I’m never in the mood 
Don’t be funny with my money, don’t get funny with my food 
Pay me what you owe me, come up with all my fees 
And you can keep your moose meat sausage and your smelly old brown cheese 

​chorus
 
I said I’m Jetlag Johnson and I just come from Tennessee 
And I’m cold and I’m tired and I’m hungry as a man can be

Loaded and Laid

by Dave Mackenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
verse 1 
I finally found out what's wrong with me 
I need to get loaded and laid 
That's the only way that I can see 
to face this world unafraid 
It might sound funny from a man my age 
Y'think its a joke, honey, meet me backstage 
I finally found out what's wrong with me 
I need to get loaded and laid 

verse 2 

Something's been bothering me the last few days 
I need to get tortured and teased 
Some of these women got a dozen new ways 
To keep a man sweaty and pleased 
So whip out your fake fur, your lashes and lace 
You can smear peanut butter and jelly all over my face 
Something's been bothering me the last few days 
I need to get tortured and teased 

verse 3 

I finally found out what my main complaint was 
I need to get ravaged and ruined 
I forgot all about the need for restraint 
I need to have my sweet milk churned 
I've tried persuasion, even thought about assault 
The way you ladies look it's only 'bout half my fault 
I finally found out what my main complaint was 
I need to get ravaged and ruined 

​verse 4
 
I finally found out what's wring with me 
I need to get loaded and laid 
Now, I'd or never brought the subject up y'see 
But its been up on its own for days 
Honey, I don't want to stand, stoop, or sit 
Just please don't stop 'til I got to beg you to quit 
I finally found out what's wrong with me 
I need to get loaded and laid

Pretty All Day Long

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
First thing in the morning 
I see your smiling face 
It can be a gray old rainy day 
You light up the place 
chorus 
You stay pretty all day long, pretty all day long 
I don’t know how you do it, girl, 
You stay pretty all day long 

verse 2 

Anytime I’m lonely 
Feeling sad and blue 
Sure enough, it cheers me up 
When I look at you 
chorus 
You stay pretty all day long, pretty all day long 
I don’t know how you do it, girl, 
You stay pretty all day long 

verse 3&4
 
It don’t seem to matter 
How you comb your hair 
You make all the men go crazy 
They just stop and stare 
It don’t seem to matter 
Kinda clothes you wear 
Y’make other women jealous, baby, 
They say it just ain’t fair 

​chorus 

You stay pretty all day long, pretty all day long 
I don’t know how you do it, girl, 
You stay pretty all day long

Start the Party

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
Hey, Mr. Bandleader up on the stage 
I'm 3/4th's drunk and feeling 1/2 my age 
so turn it up man, it takes a great big sound 
to make them little girls want to shake 'em down 

​chorus
 
Start the party, hey man, start the party 
I don't know about you, but I'm way overdue 
(Got no reason why, I just want to get high) 
(Got no good excuse, I just need to get loose) 
Start the party 

verse 2 

Hey bartender, want to be your friend 
I got 20 dollar bills laying end to end 
so don't you hesitate, don't you have no doubt 
keep filling my glass 'til I knock myself out 

repeat chorus 


bridge
 
Well, I'm a city boy 
with them old time country blues 
the night is young, but there ain't no time to lose 
I want to wear out my dancing shoes 

verse 3
 
Sweet young thing, well, you're sure looking good 
if you want to have fun, well, I wish you would 
The band’s gonna jam one of my favorite songs 
I'm about to go crazy, would you like to come along 

repeat chorus

Pay Your Own Way

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
Lookit here, baby, Let's get this straight 
You gotta bring a little money when we go on a date 
You gotta pay your own way, you gotta pay your own way 
You gotta pay your own way if you want to go out with me 

​verse 2 

I ain't jiving and it ain't no joke 
I ain't lying, I'm damn near broke 
You gotta pay your own way, you gotta pay your own way 
You gotta pay your own way if you want to go out with me 

verse 3 

Lookit here, honey, now I'm talking to you 
If I buy a drink, you better buy one too 
You gotta pay your own way, you gotta pay your own way 
You gotta pay your own way if you want to go out with me 

verse 4
 
Let's be fair about it, what you say 
I'm drinking draft beer, you're drinking Grand Marnier 
You gotta pay your own way, you gotta pay your own way 
You gotta pay your own way if you want to go out with me

The King of the Blues (I Ain't Even Trying)

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
verse 1 
Well, I love Muddy Waters and I love B.B. King 
but I don't play like they play 
and I don't sing like they sing 
and I love Duane Allman, and I love Stevie Ray 
but I don't sing like they sing 
and I don't play like they play 
I got to play my own way 
I got to pay my own dues 
and I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues 
I said, I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues 

​chorus
 
The King of the Blues, the King of the Blues 
Now, there's a thorny crown that I would never choose 
If someone's got to do it, let it be one of youse 
I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues 

solo 

verse 2 

Ain't got no greased back hair, no Harley Davidson shirt 
Ain't got no Stratocaster blasting 'til your eardrums hurt 
Don't wear no dark sunglasses when its late at night 
Man, I don't see that good in the broad daylight 
Ain't got no sharkskin suit 
Don't wear no two-tone shoes 
and I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues 
I said, I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues 

chorus 

The King of the Blues, the King of the Blues 
Now, there's a thorny crown that I would never choose 
If someone's got to do it, let it be one of youse 
I ain't even trying to be the King of the Blues 

spoken tag 

Now look here, there's already a King of the Blues, 
a one and only one, King of the Blues 
and everybody (on this planet, at least) 
knows who that is 
Now should he decide that he wants to hang it up, 
if y'all want to try to take his place, go ahead, good luck 
Myself, I'm still trying to figure out some of the licks 
on "Live at the Regal" 
Besides, man, I'd feel silly running around 
calling myself something like 
Big-Bad-Little-Blind-Lefty-Mojo-Lightening-Guitar-Slim-Shorty 
Houserockin'-Heartbreakin'-Bumblebee Johnson, Jr 
I don't think so

Fallin' Off the Wagon

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey 
© 1995 Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
Well, I'm fallin’ off the wagon tonight 
I'm gonna go get high as a kite 
Even when I'm sober, nobody treats me right 
I'm fallin’ off the wagon tonight 
I'm fallin’ off the wagon for sure 
Honey, I'll drink anything that they can pour 
at every little honky-tonk that's got an open door 
I'm fallin’ off the wagon for sure 
A man can only stand just so much strain 
Till it weakens his heart and it works on his brain 
Then he don't know to choose should he laugh or he cry 
Well, if I'm gonna be confused at least I want to know why 
So I'm fallin’ off the wagon again 
I'll pour myself a bathtub full of gin 
first I'll take a deep breath , then I'll dive right in 
I'm fallin’ off the wagon again 
Well I hear the same ol' thing from every body I know 
they tell me it's a shame the way I let myself go 
They say "you look like you startin' to lose it" 
Well, you know what I think? 
That kind of talk's enough to drive a person to drink 
So I am fallin’ off the wagon again 
I'll get as high as I have ever been 
I may not drown my sorrows but I'll teach 'em how to swim 
I'm fallin’ off the wagon again 
well, I may not drown my sorrows 
but they'll sure learn how to swim 
I'm fallin’ off the wagon again

Blues Give a Lesson

by Dave MacKenzie 
© 1995 Hey Baby! Ditties
You might be a playboy, a big time Romeo 
drive those ladies crazy everywhere you go 
Man, before you know it 
your playing days are through 
those sweet young things will say 
"I don't want some old fool like you." 
Y'better count your blessings 
Tomorrow might be your turn 
Them blues give a lesson 
everybody's got to learn 
You might be Mr. Normal, middle of the road 
You wake up one fine morning, ready to explode 
gonna quit your job, gonna leave your wife 
grab some little bombshell 
and blow apart your life 
Y'better count your blessings 
Tomorrow might be your turn 
Them blues give a lesson 
everybody's got to learn 
Do everything they tell you, do everything you should 
There's still a million ways that you can mess yourself up good 
You never signed no contract, you got no guarantees 
One day walking tall and the next down on your knees 
You might have lots of money, buy you anything you want 
A mansion on the hill with big ol' cadillac out front 
But son your time is comin', to lay your burden down 
Won't all your million dollars raise you back up out the ground. 
Y'better count your blessings 
Tomorrow might be your turn 
Them blues give a lesson 
everybody's got to learn

What She Likes to Do All Night

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
verse 1 
I'm an older man, but boys I'm telling you 
I got a sweet young girlfriend, she loves me thru and thru 
'cause she likes to do her loving slow 
and that's the only rate of speed I go 
What she likes to do all night 
takes me all night to do 

​verse 2 

Well, I'm 53, the little girl's just 22 
You can laugh at me, I'll smile right back at you 
Yeah, I may be past my prime 
But I still know how to take my time 
What she likes to do all night 
takes me all night to do 

bridge 

I said what she likes to do all night 
Can take me all night to do 
So she never has to worry 
I'm never in no hurry 
to run around town after someone new 

verse 3 

Now all you younger girls, listen to what I'm telling you 
Find you an older man, still got him a trick or two 
but there's a fire burning bright below 
what she likes to do all night 
takes me all night to do 
I said what she likes to do all night 
can take me all night to do 

Bad Loser

by Dave Mackenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
They tell me 
Jealousy has gone out of style 
It's something these girls can't stand 
You're s'posed to give 'em your heart 
and then stand back and smile 
When they're leaving with another man 
Well, I guess that I'm old fashioned 
I must be coming from some small town place 
'cause when I see my baby leaving 
with some drunked up little creep 
I tell that joker straight in his face 

​chorus 

I'm a bad loser, I slashed all your tires 
I'm a bad loser, I trashed all your wires 
I'm a bad loser, I smashed your headlights 
And I hope you got some cab fare 
'cause she ain't going nowhere tonight 

verse 2
 
I've been in and out of traction 
I've been in and out of jail 
I've been in and out and in and out 
of trouble with my baby 
She has never know me to fail 

chorus
 
I'm a bad loser, I slashed all your tires 
I'm a bad loser, I trashed all your wires 
I'm a bad loser, I smashed your headlights 
And I hope you got some cab fare 
'cause she ain't going nowhere tonight 

verse 3
 
Now, who's that at my front door? 
Y'say she's s'posed to go out with you? 
Well, make yourself at home, 
would you excuse me for a minute? 
I've got some work on a car to do. 

chorus
 
I'm a bad loser, I slashed all your tires 
I'm a bad loser, I trashed all your wires 
I'm a bad loser, I smashed your headlights 
And I hope you got some cab fare 
'cause she ain't going nowhere tonight 
They tell me jelousy has gone out of style ...

Friday Night In Nashville

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
Gonna do some serious runnin’ around 
Hit every single joint in town 
Tear ‘em all up and close ‘em all down 
It’s Friday night in Nashville 
Gonna break some hearts and some guitar strings 
Gonna laugh and dance and drink and sing 
And I don’t want to miss a doggone thing 
It’s Friday Night in Nashville 
bridge 
I don’t want to hear no country band 
Them drugstore cowboys sing the songs too slow 
When I get wound up and want to dance 
Then don’t intend to do no do-se-do 
I got some bootleg whiskey and some good homebrew 
We’ll catch a catfish pizza at the barbecue 
Ain’t no telling what all we’ll do 
It’s Friday night in Nashville 
I got three good tires and a full tank of gas 
I’m gonna honk my horn at every cop I pass 
And if he don’t like it he can kiss my ass 
It’s Friday night in Nashville 
When I call from jail, honey, bring bail fast 
It’s Friday night in Nashville

All Washed Up

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
I’m all washed up in this town 
my reputation’s all run down 
You won’t see no smiling when I come around 
‘ cause I’m all washed up in this town 
Ain’t nobody happy I’m here 
They’ve made it perfectly clear 
I’d do ‘em all a favor if I’d just disappear 
There ain’t nobody happy I’m here 
Once upon a time I was a bundle of joy 
I was a blue-eyed baby and a curly-haired boy 
Somewhere ‘long the line people started to change 
Now the ones that don’t cuss me just look at me strange 
I’ve worn out my welcome for sure 
I don’t even ask for credit no more 
I’m lucky they still take my cash at the store 
I’ve worn out my welcome for sure 
If I take a notion just to pack up and leave 
There won’t be no crying, won’t nobody grieve 
They’ll throw themselves a party, be some carrying on, and put a sign outside the church that say “Thank God he’s gone” 
‘ cause I’m all washed up in this town 
the police ‘bout to run me down 
they say you better get lost and don’t never be found They’re ‘bout to pass a law against me coming around 
My name and reputation is a deep, muddy brown 
I’m all washed up 
I’m all washed up 
I’m all washed upin this town 
I’m lucky they still take my cash at the store 
I’ve worn out my welcome for sure

Rats in My Bedroom

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
I got rats in my bedroom 
roaches keep me woke at night 
said I got rats in my bedroom 
roaches keep me woke at night 
I seen some things out in my kitchen 
would steal a starving man’s appetite 
now them people up north think they got some big bugs 
you oughta see these bugs we got down south 
I had a cockroach walk across my kitchen table, 
had a hamhock in its mouth 
and I got rats in my bedroom . . . 
now them roaches jumped down on the rat’s back, 
and they raced them around the floor 
they killed, and skinned, and ate my cat 
and they drove my dog outdoors 
I got rats in my bedroom . . . 
Well they ate up all my D-KON, 
then they drank up all my Raid 
when they started snorting up that Black Flag, 
well that’s when I got afraid. 
They said, “Son, if you tryin’ to kill us, 
you need to get some strong stuff in this place. 
The only way we dyin’ right now, 
is from laughin’ in your face.” 
I got rats in my bedroom . . . 
Baby, don’t turn on that light 

Big Ol' Girls

By Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
I like to look at those ladies in the magazines 
Some of them’s the sweetest women I have ever seen 
But in real life here’s the deal 
The truth about how I feel
Ain’t no skinny legged fashion model 
Ever be the girl of my dreams 
I like them big ol’ girls and their sweet round faces 
I like them big ol’ girls and all their sweet round places 
When push comes to shove you get much more to love with a big ol’ girl 
I like them big ol’ girls they can rock you strong 
I like them big ol’ girls they roll you all night long 
Well you heard me right, I said you can’t go wrong with a big ol’ girl 
The kind of girl who can steal away this heart of mine 
Is the kind of girl who’ll never squeeze into a dress size 9 
When people tell me less is more 
I tell ‘em that depends who’s keeping score 
I like them great big figures 
When I’m looking at that bottom line 
I like them big ol’ girls and their sweet round faces 
I like them big ol’ girls and all their sweet round places 
When push comes to shove you get much more to love 
with a big ol’ girl 
I like them big ol’ girls they can rock you strong 
I like them big ol’ girls they roll you all night long 
Well you heard me right, I said you can’t go wrong with a big ol’ girl 

Get Right with God

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
You better get right with God before it’s too late, 
Quit your crooked path, start walking straight 
Stop stayin’ out late, playin’ them cards, drinkin’ that liquor, livin’ so hard 
You better sure get right with God before it’s too late 
If you wanna save your soul you got to pray, 
And the Good Book says there ain’t no other way. 
When you hear the call, you can rise or you can fall 
But if you wanna save your soul you got to pray. 
He don’t care if you’re pretty, 
he don’t think you’re so smart. 
He don’t care what’s in your wallet, 
He can see what’s in your heart. 
You better sure get right with god before it’s too late 
Said life’s too short and there’s no time to waste 
Said now what you gonna say, when he looks you in your eyes one day 
You better sure get right with god before it’s too late

Girlfriend Blues

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1
I came in early last night, guess I did find 
My girlfriend’s in the bedroom having a great big time 
She was squealing, she was moaning, she was really having a ball 
And people, I ain’t told you the best surprise of all 

chorus 

Nowadays, gettin’ hard to tell who is who 
And I just found out my girlfriend’s got a girlfriend, too 

verse 2 

I ain’t no little farmboy on his first trip into town 
Takes a lot to shock me, I’m a man that’s been around 
But what them two was doin’ I did not know could be done 
And as good as they’re both lookin’, I could not blame either one 

chorus
 
Nowadays, gettin’ hard to tell who is who 
And I just found out my girlfriend’s got a girlfriend, too 

verse 3
 
My girlfriend turned the light on that’s when I let out a laugh and shout 
And she just laid wondering “What’s he laughin’ about?” 
Then her girlfriend told her, “Baby, life is funny as can be. 
Here you’ve been cheatin’ with me on this man 
who cheats on you with me.” 

​last chorus
 
Nowadays, gettin’ hard to tell who is who 
And I just found out my girlfriend’s got a girlfriend, too 
Yeah, and she just found out her little girlfriend’s got a boyfriend, too

If I Lose My Way

by Dave MacKenzie and Adie Grey 
© 1995 Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
If I lose my way, I shall be found 
If I lose my way, I shall be found 
On the darkest day in the hardest part of town 
If I lose my way, I shall be found 

​verse 2 

Though I walk in chains, I shall be free 
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free 
If I speak His name, it’s sure to comfort me 
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free 

verse 3
 
If I lose my way, I shall be found 
If I lose my way, I shall be found 
Tho' my feet may stray, there will be no turnin’ ‘round 
If I lose my way, I shall be found 

verse 4 

Though I walk in chains, I shall be free 
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free 
This world of pain cannot imprison me 
Though I walk in chains, I shall be free 

verse 5 

If I lose my way, I shall be found 
If I lose my way, I shall be found 
On the darkest day in the hardest part of town 
If I lose my way, I shall be found 
If I lose my way, I shall be found.

Preachin' To The Choir

by Dave MacKenzie & Richard Fleming 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
I got a next door neighbor, he talks all day long
Always there to tell me whenever I go wrong
Tells me how to do my job & how to live my life
He knows everything but how to get along with his own wife

​chorus

Spittin’ in the river, throwin’ matches on a fire
Ain’t doin’ much of nothing, just preachin’ to the choir
Them boys down on the corner got it all worked out
They know all the angles, what everything’s about
They never have much money, never have much fun
But they’ll be glad to tell you just exactly how it’s done

chorus 

Spittin’ in the river, throwin’ matches on a fire
Ain’t doin’ much of nothing, just preachin’ to the choir
My baby came in last night, drunk as she could be
Staggered in and rolled those big ol’ bloodshot eyes at me
(She) said “Now, don’t be angry, I don’t want to fight
And this is how you come home looking every Friday night”

chorus 

Spittin’ in the river, throwin’ matches on a fire
Ain’t doin’ much of nothing, just preachin’ to the choir

No Need to Worry

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
Money’s short & times are sure tough 
Ain’t nothing new, just the same old stuff 
People are struggling, man, they’re just barely getting by 
There’s no need to worry, blues won’t never die 
This is a wicked world & life ain’t fair 
You won’t find no justice, not anywhere 
People are suffering and they can’t tell the reason why 
So there’s no need to worry, blues won’t never die 

​bridge
 
I won’t lift a finger to keep the blues alive 
I’d rather live in a world where the blues could not survive 
If it took away the heartache, all the pain & misery 
The blues could die tomorrow, that would be alright with me 
As long as some folks got to sleep out in the street 
As long as children can’t find enough to eat 
Just as long as lovers still make each other cry 
Won’t be no need to worry, blues won’t never die 

Underneath the Tennessee Moon

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
Lightening bugs are flashing, evening breezes rise 
relaxing is the fashion, ain't a cloud up in the skies 
I'm sitting on this front porch swing 
Listening to a whippoorwill sing 

verse 2 

I'll pour us both a strong one, its been that kind of day 
we've both worked a long one, worried every which-a-way 
Hey, Baby, what we need to do 
Is slip away, just me and you 

chorus 

Where we can kick off our shoes and go waltzing around 
Underneath the Tennessee Moon 
'cause if you got the blues or you are feeling low down 
It's guaranteed to change that tune 
I don't need no nightclub, no fancy downtown scene 
I know a spot that's quiet, where the grass is cool and green 
and we can kick off our shoes and go waltzing around 
Underneath the Tennessee Moon 

verse 3 

First thing in the morning, I jump back in the race 
but I run the whole day long with a smile upon my face 
'cause when this day is finally through 
I know what we're going to do 

chorus
 
Were gonna kick off our shoes and go waltzing around 
Underneath the Tennessee moon 
'cause if you've got the blues or you are feeling low down 
It's guaranteed to change that tune 
Tell me I'm old fashioned, that's alright 
It may not be real hip, but what I want to do tonight 
is just kick off our shoes and go waltzing around 
Underneath the Tennessee moon 
Underneath the Tennessee moon 

Christmas Blues

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
Daddy got drunk and knocked down the Christmas tree 
Daddy got drunk and knocked down the Christmas tree 
Mama got mad and blamed it all on me 

​verse 2
 
Little brother Billy snuck off with that chocolate cake 
Little brother Billy snuck off with that chocolate cake 
Got himself a beating and a great big bellyache 

bridge 

I got the Christmas blues, blue as blue can be 
The Christmas blues, I’m telling you, 
they’re bad enough to last through New Year’s eve 

verse 3 

Aunt Rosie said “Take a look at your uncle Jim” 
Aunt Rosie said “Take a look at your uncle Jim” 
“ If you don’t watch out, you’re gonna wind up bad as him” 

verse 4
 
Grandma’s passed out underneath the draft beer keg 
Grandma’s passed out underneath the draft beer keg 
Grandpa’s in the parlor, grabbing some young girl’s leg 

verse 5
 
I got a big ugly cousin goes two hundred pounds or so 
I got a but ugly cousin goes two hundred pounds or so 
She keep trying to drag me underneath the mistletoe 

bridge
 
I got the Christmas blues, blue as blue can be 
The Christmas blues, I’m telling you, 
they’re bad enough to last through New Year’s eve 

verse 6

Daddy got drunk and knocked down the Christmas tree 
Daddy got drunk and knocked down the Christmas tree 
Mama got mad and blamed it all on me

Don't Say Nothin' Bad (About My Baby)

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
You can make a joke about the clothes I wear 
Have yourself a laugh at how I comb my hair 
Say anything you want about me, I don't care 
but, don't you say nothin' bad about my baby 

​verse 2 

You can call me a lowdown, crooked as a snake 
A fraud and a philistine, a phony and a fake 
Say any effing thing y'want, but give yourself a break 
and don't you say nothin' bad about my baby 

bridge 1 

'cause if you do, then me and you 
is gonna go round and round 
and it won't stop until some copper 
comes to pick you big behind back up off the ground 

verse 3
 
So you can talk about me 'til you face turns blue 
You can slander every single thing I do 
Say I look like a dog and smell like one, too 
But don't you say nothin' bad about my baby 

solo 

bridge 2 

I said, if you do, then me and you 
is gonna go round and round 
and it won't stop until some copper 
helps you look for your choppers in the lost and found 

verse and tag 

See, I'm the baddest apple in my family tree 
I'm the missing link in our history 
So I don't mind you trying to make monkey out of me 
but don't you say nothin' bad about my baby 
You can call me a liar, call me a cheat 
Say I'm mean and I'm evil from my head to my feet 
I'm tellin' you one time and I don't mean maybe 
Don't say nothin' bad 'cause you'll only make me mad 
And then you'll wisht you never had 
Don't say nothin' bad about my baby

I Don't Like Little Kids

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
I don't like little kids 
Don't like them now and I never did 
Let them go play in the street and have fun 
I didn't even like them when I used to be one 
I said I don't like little kids 
Some peoples' kids you can take them out in public 
they'll sit and be cool the whole while 
Other peoples' children get inflicted upon you 
while their parents just sit back and smile 
They say, don't you rub your carrots in that man's hair 
stop pouring your milk in his shoe 
Yeah, c'mon over here and sit on Uncle David's foot 
Were gonna talk about a thing or two 
I don't like little kids 
don't like them now and I never did 
Overpopulation, hell, I'm not to blame 
Let them all go back to wherever they came from 
I don't like little kids 
Kids got to go to school every day 
they got to hang out with their parents all night 
You'd think somewhere in between those two 
Somebody'd teach them how to act right 
Children got a right to get left alone 
and not to always get told what to do 
But that don't mean us grown-ups gonna take no baloney 
'cause if nothing else we're bigger than you 
I don't like little kids 
don't like them now and I never did 
Oh, they go alright with a nice white wine 
with potatoes and gravy they can taste just fine 
But I don't like little kids

Honeymoon Mambo

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
verse 1 
The lady I love, she ain’t no little schoolgirl child 
She’s a sure ‘nuf full grown woman, just my size and style 
She get her love light lit, she never wants to quit 

​chorus 

She likes her lovin’ in the afternoon, 
She want’s a little in the evening, too 
Late at night her overdrive kicks in 
Come morning light she wants to start again 
She ‘bout to kill me with the way she do 
Now these might be my final words to you 
I’ll keep on keeping on the best I can 
And if I die I’ll die a happy man 

verse 2 

When it’s loving time, this girl ain’t no way shy 
She’ll step right up and say what she wants, give ya four, five reasons why 
Then she’ll give me a kiss, and then I can’t resist 

chorus
 
She likes her lovin’ in the afternoon, 
She want’s a little in the evening, too 
Late at night her overdrive kicks in 
Come morning light she wants to start again 
She ‘bout to kill me with the way she do 
Now these might be my final words to you 
I’ll keep on keeping on the best I can 
And if I die I’ll die a happy man

Slender Man Blues

by Dave MacKenzie 
© 1988 D. MacKenzie
verse 1 
Well, I stand up six feet two 
I only weigh 165 
But I got something good for you 
Make you glad that you're alive 
Oh, baby, don't you put me down 'cause I'm a slender man 
I'll do something for you darling 
ain't none of those big boys can 

​verse 2 

Honey, once you get me started 
I won't stop until you do 
You don't need some guy the size of a frigidare 
laying all on top of you 
No you don't baby, 
don't you put me down 'cause I'm a slender man 
I'll do something for you darling 
ain't none of those big boys can 

verse 3

I heard this one woman talking 
Said she thought she'd leave them skinny men alone 
She don't know you want to find the sweetest meat 
you got to get down closest to the bone 
Don't you put me down 'cause I'm a slender man 
I'll do something for you darling 
ain't none of those big boys can 

verse 4

I heard this other woman talking 
(She said "Bigger's better; 
What you get is what you see.") 
She never heard that old southern expression 
'bout the man was all root and no tree 
Honey, don't you put me down 'cause I'm a slender man 
I'll do something for you darling, 
ain't none of those big boys can

Sure 'Nuff Shame

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
Well the cops is in the courthouse 
the crook got bail 
the judge jumped bad 
and put the jury in jail 
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain 
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame 
Yeah, he admitted the murder 
had no excuse, 
they called the boy crazy 
and they turnin’ him loose 
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain 
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame 
yeah the politicians said 
he’s gonna bring better days, 
well the first thing he does 
is give his fool self a raise 
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain 
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame 
there’s a gangster on the corner 
sellin’ crack-cocaine 
with the police out 
bustin’ up a bingo game 
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain 
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame 
Well the preacher tells people 
got to keep it in their jeans 
then we caught him with a chippie 
down in New Orleans 
sayin’ hey, hey I believe I’ll speak the plain 
well if it ain’t no crime it’s gotta be a sure-nuff shame

Baby, Why'd You Change

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
You used to tell me you were my best friend 
Now you’re acting like I’m something that the cat dragged in 
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind 
You used to say you loved just like I am 
You been looking at me lately like you don’t give a damn 
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind 

​bridge 

Is it ‘cause I wrecked your car 
Is it ‘cause my job shut down 
or ‘cause I’ve been seen in our neighborhood barwith cute little blonde from the east side of town 
Or is it ‘cause I didn’t come home for a week 
is that the reason you’re so unkind 
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind 
You used to say my love was too sweet to lose 
Now you treat me like I’m something that you scraped off your shoes 
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind 

bridge
 
Is it ‘cause I get too drunk 
and practice walking into walls 
Is it ‘cause I holler “No, there’s nobody home” 
and I hang up the phone when your mama calls 
Or was it that letter you got from my wife 
saying all my kids were just fine 
I want to know, baby, why’d you change your mind

Mardi Gras Starts Tomorrow

by Dave MacKenzie and Adie Grey 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
I just can’t wait ‘til the morning comes 
I’ll march along beside that big bass drum 
Won’t stop parading ‘til the band gets done 
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow 
I saved my money up for one whole year 
Bought me a ticket and I came down here 
I’m so excited now the time is near 
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow 
They ain’t begun it yet 
but I’m already glad that I came 
I got this funny feeling 
I may never be the same 
Get me some gumbo in a Dixie cup 
Fix me a hurricane that’s strong enough 
If I fall down just pick me right back up 
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow 
They ain’t begun it yet 
but I’m already glad that I came 
I got this funny feeling 
I may never be the same 
I’ll hit those streets just like a rolling stone 
I’ll keep moving ‘til I’m good and gone 
Well I may never even go back home 
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow 
You tell my homeboys now they’re on his own 
Mardi Gras starts tomorrow

If Jesus Comes Back (as a Mexican Man)

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
If Jesus comes back as a Mexican man 
What will you have to say 
You’re gonna have to sign up for a Spanish class 
And practice every day 
The gates of heaven might be found 
In Juarez or L.A. 
And if Jesus ...have to day 
If Jesus comes back and this time he’s black what are you gonna do 
If you won’t listen to his rap 
How can he talk to you 
Everything’s gonna be different 
When this world is through 
And if Jesus ...gonna do 
Suppose this time the King of Kings 
Turns out to be a Queen 
And she don’t look a thing 
Like all those pictures you’ve seen 
Y’know sometimes it’s hard to recognize 
Just who is who 
But just because you can’t see her 
Don’t mean she wont see you 
If Jesus is born homeless 
For a second time around 
In some abandoned building 
That they plan on tearing down 
Y’better pray He ain’t arrested 
When he hits your side of town 
If Jesus is born homeless 
For a second tome around

I Need Some Now

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
Since I was a baby I’ve been told 
Y’gotta work your whole life, until you’re old 
Save up all your money and when you’re done 
There might be time enough for you to have some fun 

chorus 

I need some now 
I need some now 
Don’t you tell me no tomorrow 
I need some now 
The rent on my room it was overdue 
The landlady said I want to talk to you 
She said, “I need my money, let me make this clear; 
if you ain’t got no money then you’re out of here.” 

chorus
 
I had this fine looking woman, we was doing alright 
I was over at her house nearly every night 
When we’d start loving she would stop and say 
“ Don’t you think we ought to wait until our wedding day?” 

​chorus 

Since I was a baby I’ve been told 
The streets of heaven are lined with gold 
They got everything you want behind those Pearly Gates 
All you got to do is be good and wait

Like a Couple of Kids in Love

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
Verse 1
Look at that boy and girl coming down the street
She’s walking slow, he’s talking low and sweet
Staring in each other’s eyes
Letting the world pass by
He teases and he tickles and she giggles and she gives him a shove
Can’t help acting like a couple of kids in love

Verse 2
Look at that little old lady and that gray haired man
Sitting on a park bench, whispering and holding hands
She wants to reminisce,
He wants to steal a kiss
He’s sneaking in a squeeze ‘til she slaps him on his knees with her glove
Can’t help acting like a couple of kids in loveBridge
That’s what we all love to see
That’s how we all want to be

​Verse 3
All of our friends are laughing about you and me
The parties we miss, the movies that we never see
The times we just don’t show up,
The way we just won’t grow up
No matter what they tell us it’s something that they’re all jealous of
Can’t help acting like a couple of kids
Can’t help acting like a couple of kids
Can’t help acting like a couple of kids in love
A couple of kids in love

A Friend Like You

Adie Grey & Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
Verse 1
I remember back when we were kids
Nobody understood me like you did
Now after everything that we’ve been through
It’s good to have a friend like you

​Verse 2
We stood together when the going got rough
We stood together when the times were tough
Y’ took on one of us y’ took on two
Been good to have a friend like you

Chorus
With a friend like you if there’s trouble and I’m in it
I know help is always on the way
With a friend like you we can talk a mile a minute
(And) there’s always something more to say
I never have a lonely day
With a friend like you

Verse 3
Now it ain’t easy trying to find my way
Feels like it’s getting harder everyday
But anytime I’m feeling blue
I’m glad I have a friend like you

Verse 4
So if you stumble or if you should fall
I’ll come a’runnin’ anytime you call
You can count on me to see you through
I want to be a friend like you

Chorus 2
With a friend like you if there’s trouble and you’re in it
Y’ know help is always on the way
With a friend like you we can talk a mile a minute
(And) there’s always something more to say
I never have a lonely day
And no matter what the world may do
I know it’s gonna be okay
With a friend like you
With a friend like you
With a friend like you

Forget About You

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties ASCAP
Verse 1
Never solve nothing by running away
But I might go crazy if I had to stay
‘ Cause you can’t be trusted & you won’t be true
It’s about time to forget about you

​Chorus
Forget about you, forget about you
No, you ain’t breaking my heart in two
Forget about you, forget about you
Won’t be all that hard to do
I’m already startin’ to forget about you

Verse 2
Resolution fails every now and then
I start reminiscing ‘bout way back when
Then I go out lookin’ for someone new
Think about him and forget about you

Chorus
Forget about you, forget about you
No, you ain’t breaking my heart in two
Forget about you, forget about you
Won’t be all that hard to do
I’m already startin’ to forget about you

Bridge
From now on that’s how it’s gonna be
I won’t even miss your memory
I’ll forget about you

Verse 3
If I see your face in the middle of the night
I wake back up, and I’m alright
Set fire to your letters and your photographs too
Sure feels good to forget about you

Chorus
Forget about you, forget about you
No, you ain’t breaking my heart in two
Forget about you, forget about you
Won’t be all that hard to do
I’m already startin’ to forget about you
Forget about you, forget about you
No, you ain’t breaking my heart in two
I’ll forget about you,
Won’t be all that hard to do
I’m already startin’ to forget about you

Mr. Armstrong Was Right

By Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
Release
Mr. Armstrong sang a song a long, long time ago
All we need to know
How to find a rainbow
At the darkest hour in the middle of the night
I know Mr. Armstrong got it right

​Verse 1
Skies of blue sometimes turn to skies of gray
When they do and the rain won’t go away
I’ll just say to myself
It’s still a wonderful world

Verse 2
It may be all my dreams will not come true
I may see all my best-laid plans fall through
I’ll keep telling myself
It’s still a wonderful world

Bridge
Winter somehow gives us spring
Any day now roses will bloom, robins will sing

Verse 3
Skies of blue sometimes turn to skies of gray
When they do I’ll just shake my head and say
Mr. Armstrong was right
It’s still a wonderful world

Tag
Mr. Armstrong was right
It’s still a wonderful world
What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful,
Wonderful world

The Gospel of the Hammer

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties ASCAP
Verse 1
I can bow my head in silence, I can clap my hands and
shout
I can get down on my knees, or dance the devil out
But with all of my believin’, after all the prayin’s
through
I can’t fight the feelin’ I’ve got something more to do

​Chorus
The Gospel of the Hammer anyone can understand
We can build ourselves a heaven, there is work for every hand
And we all can take a lesson from a carpenter’s son
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone

Verse 2
In a world so full of plenty there are many still in need
In a land of milk and honey, many mouths to feed
If a miracle should happen and our dreams would all come true
Even when our prayers are answered, we’ll find so much more to do

Chorus
The Gospel of the Hammer anyone can understand
We can build ourselves a heaven, there is work for every hand
And we all can take a lesson from a carpenter’s son
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone

Verse 3
There is music in the moment when the weary find a bed
There’s a melody we hear when a hungry child is fed
So we gather ‘round together and we make the hammers ring
In the harmony between us we will hear the angels sing

Chorus
The Gospel of the Hammer anyone can understand
We can build ourselves a heaven, there is work for every hand
And we all can take a lesson from a carpenter’s son
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone

Chorus
The Gospel of the Hammer anyone can understand
We can build ourselves a heaven, there is work for every hand
And we all can take a lesson from a carpenter’s son
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone

Chorus
The Gospel of the Hammer anyone can understand
We can build ourselves a heaven, there is work for every hand
And we all can take a lesson from a carpenter’s son
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone
In The Gospel of the Hammer there’s a home for everyone

I May Be Down

by Adie Grey and Dave MacKenzie
© 1993 Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
I may be down but I ain't done
Got alot of race yet left to run
Calling me a loser don't mean you've won
I may be down but I ain't done
Born outside a river town
The waters rose when the rains came down
Days on end it wouldn't stop
'Til it wrecked the barn and it ruined the crop
Daddy'd tell all of us kids at night
“ If we just stick together we'll be alright
We'll get by, I'm not sure how
But I know it won't happen if we quit right now”
I've been getting up every day
I got kids to feed, I got bills to pay
A dead end job that I can't stand
Making half the money they'd pay a man
I remember now my daddy said
“ You're a short time living and a long time dead.
It won't be easy, it won't be fair,
But, kid, don't quit and you can get your share"
The tough gets going when the going gets tough
There’s no slowing down when the road gets rough
Like them boys in the big leagues say
No use crying, gotta keep trying
Tomorrow is another day

Mr. Roy

(A Tribute to Roy Acuff) 
by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
He said, "I'm just a country boy who's tried to do his best;
if folks remember that much, I won't mind all the rest."
A real old-fashioned gentleman, they called him Mr. Roy,
He still loved the music that he first learned as a boy.
As a child I heard him on my radio at night;
He sang “Great Speckled Bird” and then I saw the light
He was the king of country music, loved by one and all
Now he's riding off to glory on the Wabash Cannonball
He could play that fiddle and make the world stand still,
Sound just like a cold wind blowing through the hills,
Moaning like a freight train on a Chattanooga run
And singing like an angel who is dancing in the sun
So you can play your banjo and you can say your prayers
'cause sure as there's a heaven I know Mr. Roy's up there
He's singing "Will the circle be unbroken by and by,"
His better home was waiting in the sky, Lord, in the sky 

On the South Side of Town

by Dave MacKenzie and Adie Grey 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
On the south side of town there's an alley 
Runs off a dead end street 
That's where I go when I'm feeling low 
That's where all of us fallen angels meet 
There's a place right on the corner 
A two room shotgun shack 
They got beer and wine and whiskey if you want 'em 
They'll sell you something stronger in the back 
I know I ought to be ashamed to have you see me here 
But tonight I've got a broken heart to drown 
And a memory that will not set me free 
Tonight you all can look for me on the south side of town 
When I was young my hands were steady 
I stood up straight and I walked strong 
I was tough, I was rough and ready 
'til what I thought was true love came along 
His eyes were brighter than a diamond 
His lips would not leave me alone 
His voice was warm and soft as rain in summer 
His heart was cold and hard as any stone 
He was laughing when I found him 
A sound that cut me like a knife 
He lay down wrapped around his lover 
The last time that I saw him in this life 
Not everything that shines in silver 
And all that glitters is not gold 
Not every story has a happy ending 
There's some secrets never should be told

Hurricane's Comin'

by Adie Grey and Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
Hurricane's comin', dark clouds above 
Some fool on the radio singing about love 
'til the man interrupts to tell you what's new 
Hurricane's comin', it's too late for you 
Hurricane's comin', it's too late for you 
Hurricane's comin', headed for town 
The bridges are out and the phone lines are down 
The levees have broken, the flood waters flow 
Hurricane's comin', there's nowhere to go 
Hurricane's comin', there's nowhere to go 
Mama's so scared, she's losing her cool 
Daddy's frightened, he's acting the fool 
Grandma's in praying, down on her knees 
" Dear lord" she's saying, "don't hit our home, please." 
Hurricane's comin', high waters rise 
There's fire in the valleys, flood in the skies 
It's shaken the mountains and taken the sun 
Hurricane's comin', there's nowhere to run, 
Hurricane's comin', there's nowhere to run. 
Hurricane's comin', there's nowhere to run.

That Good Ol' Boy

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
He's just a good ol' boy
He calls my daddy "Sir"
He's always so polite
Right from the start, he was part of the family
And that good ol' boy's the best ol' man for me
He's just a good ol' boy
And when he goes to town
He doesn't get caught up
In all that running 'round
Takin' it easy is how he prefers life to be
That good ol' boy's the best ol' man for me
That good ol' boy's the best ol' man for me
And when it's time for loving
He's as sweet as he can be
Now I'm all done with fooling around
I have more fun just settling down
That good ol' boys the best ol' man for me
He's just a good ol' boy
But when I need a friend
Or if there's something wrong
I can count on him
He's always there, right where I want him to be
And that good ol' boy's the best old man for me

When I'm In Dixie

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
New York's got ten million lights 
And people there are scared of going out at night 
But I'm alright 
When I'm in Dixie 
I've walked those streets out in L.A. 
Them people going crazy every which a way 
But I'm o.k. 
When I'm in Dixie 
Anywhere from Caroline down to San Antone 
Folks down there take their time 
They make you feel right at home 
Every other place I goPeople treat me like somebody they don't know 
But that ain't so 
When I'm in Dixie 
From San Antone anywhere on up to Caroline 
Y'all just drop me off down there 
And I swear I'll do just fine 
I've been north, east and west 
And if I got to tell the truth, well, I'll confess 
I like it best when I'm in D-I-X-I-E 
Yes, I like it best, 
When I'm in Dixie

Volver, Volver

By F.Z. Maldanodo
Additional English lyrics by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
Verse
Este amor apasionado
Anda todo alborotado por volver;
Voy camino a la locura
Y aunque todo me tortura, se querer.
Nos dejamos hace tiempo,
Pero se llego el momento de perder.
Tu tenias mucha razon,
Le hago caso al corazon
Y me muero por volver.

Chorus
Y volver, volver, volver,
A tus brazos otra vez,
Llegare hasta donde estes
Yo se perder, yo se perder
Quiero volver, volver, volver.

Verse
Ever since I found my way here,
I’ve worked every night and day here.
It’s been so long 
Since I’ve seen your pretty face,
I keep dreaming of the place
Where I belong.
But without you here beside me
And your loving hand to guide me
I must be strong. 
I’ll do whatever it is I must do,
And I’ll see that our dreams will come true,
On the day that I return.

Chorus
Until the day that I return
To the warmth of your embrace
I’ll spend each moment until then
Yearning for when 
I’ll hold you again
On the day that I return

Chorus
Y volver, volver, volver,
A tus brazos otra vez,
Llegare hasta donde estes
Yo se perder, yo se perder
Quiero volver, volver, volver.

An Old Man's Darlin'

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
Verse 1
All my friends are looking for a young man they can use
They always wind up cryin’ with them cradle robbin’ blues
And I ain’t got time to take no young boy to school
I’d rather be an old mans’ darlin’ than be some young boys fool

​Verse 2
Them young boys like to talk about how they can love all night
My old man knows one time’s enough, when you do it right
And I ain’t got time to take no young boy to school
I’d rather be an old mans’ darlin’ than be some young boys fool

Verse 3
Then young boys won’t be happy ‘til you tell them they’re the best
My old man loves me up and then he lets me get my rest
And I ain’t got time to take no young boy to school
I’d rather be an old mans’ darlin’ than be some young boys fool

Verse 4
Them young boy’s are in a hurry they just want to come and go
My old man takes his sweet time he likes to move real slow
Them young boys get all herky-jerky jumpin up and down
My old man rocks me steady he likes to wind it round & round
And I ain’t got time to take no young boy to school
I’d rather be an old mans’ darlin’ than be some young boys fool
And I ain’t got time to take no young boy to school
I’d rather be an old mans’ darlin’ than be some young boys fool

Kisses for Christmas

by Adie Grey & Dave MacKenzie
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
Release
Winter is here, the old year’s nearly past
The holiday season is coming on fast
So let’s hang the mistletoe and when we’re through
I’ll tell you what else you can do

​Verse
Come on and give me your kisses for Christmas
They’re better than a present from the store
Give me your kisses for Christmas
That’s the only gift I’m wishin’ for

Bridge 1
Some folks like to throw away their money
It seems to make them happy when they do
Darlin’ now I know it may sound funny
But you don’t have to spend a dime
To make my dreams come true
I don’t have a long list of wishes
Give me your kisses for Christmas

Tag
There’s no better time, dear, than this is
So come on give me a few
I’ll give ‘em back to you
All I’m asking for are your
Kisses for Christmas

The Ballad of Black Charlie

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
Verse 1
Black Charlie’s cabin sits high on a mountain
That looks on the valley below
His people were here when this place was still nameless
That was a long time ago
Now power lines climb up the side of his mountain
The town spreads out further each day
They want to build a new interstate bypass
Black Charlie’s right in their way

​Chorus
(He said) You’ve taken the place where the sweet grasses grow
Covered it up with your town
You’ve poisoned the wind and the water’s that flow
Leave me my 6 feet of ground

Verse 2
The county commissioners made a fair vote
The newspapers said it was so
You can’t hold back progress or civilization
Black Charlie’s just got to go
They sent up the sheriff and deputy too
With shotguns and warrants and worse
Black Charlie said ‘em a Scots-Irish prayer
And sang ‘em a Cherokee curse

Repeat Chorus

Verse 3
Nobody knows why the shooting began and
There’s no living soul who will tell
All you can say is the real trouble started
The minute that Black Charlie fell
Dark clouds all gathered, the skies opened up
And a hard rain began to come down
The waters poured over the side of his mountain
‘ Til there wasn’t much left of that town

Repeat Chorus

Tag
Black Charlie’s ghost watches over his mountain
His cabin is there to this day
The government built a new interstate bypass
They put it up 10 miles away

I Know He Loves Me

by Dave MacKenzie & Adie Grey
© Hey Baby! Ditties ASCAP
Verse 1
Sometimes he’s too shy to say the things I want to hear
He’s not the kind of guy who likes to whisper in my ear
Some old silly valentine he has memorized
But when I look in his eyesChorus
I know he loves me and when he holds me tight
I know he loves me and everything’s alright
I can’t say for certain what this old world’s comin’ to
But whatever else is true
I know he loves me

​Verse 2
I like the way he kisses, the way he holds my hand
I like the way he listens and tries to understand
We don’t often disagree, but even when we do
When all the talkin’s through

Chorus
I know he loves me and when he holds me tight
I know he loves me and everything’s alright
I can’t say for certain what this old world’s comin’ to
But whatever else is true
I know he loves me

Bridge
Sometimes I get frightened
And it’s hard to find my way
I give myself a talking to,
And as I count my blessings
I keep hearing myself say

Chorus
I know he loves me and when he holds me tight
I know he loves me and everything’s alright
I can’t say for certain what this old world’s comin’ to
But whatever else is true
I know he loves me
I know he loves me
I know he loves me

Grandpa's Advice

Grandpa’s Advice by Adie Grey and Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
Verse 1 
I remember Sunday drivin’ in my Grandpa’s car
Old songs on the radio; the smell of his cigar
Everybody d’ honk at him because he’d drive so slow
He’d just laugh and tell me, “Kid, here’s something you should know”

​Chorus 1
They’re all jerks,
When you’re out here on your own
Just assume that everybody else is half-asleep or stoned
They’re all jerks,
And not a one knows how to drive
So you gotta pay attention to make it home alive
I’ll give you my philosophy, I guarantee it works
Repeat it after me, kid,
They’re all jerks.

Verse 2
He said, “They’ll let any fool with money buy himself a car
And you can get a license here, however dumb you are
Oh they all turn into hotrods when they slide behind the wheel
When you get old enough to drive, remember here’s the deal:”

Repeat Chorus 1

Verse 3 

Twenty-five years later, I’ve got children of my own
And I do all the driving between school and work and home
Sometimes on the weekends we head out for the beach
Now with the kids strapped in the backseat now it’s my turn to teach
So everytime I’m cut off by some wise-guy in a truck
Or some hero in a sportscar whose gotta push his luck
I don’t get scared or angry, I just sing this little song
It always cheers me up to hear my children sing along

Chorus 2
They’re all jerks
When you’re out here on your own
Just assume that everybody else is drunk or on the phone
They’re all jerks,
Not a one knows how to drive
So you gotta pay attention to make it home alive
I’ll give you my philosophy, I guarantee it works
Repeat it after me, kids,
They’re all jerks
I said Repeat it after me, kids,
They’re all jerks

Underneath the Tennessee Moon

by Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties (ASCAP)
Lightning bugs are flashing, evening breezes rise
relaxing is the fashion, ain't a cloud up in the skies
I'm sitting on this front porch swing
Listening to a whippoorwill sing
I'll pour is both a strong one, its been that kind of day
we've both worked a long one, worried every which-a-way
Hey, Baby, what we need to do
Is slip away, just me and you
Where we can kick off our shoes and go waltzing around
Underneath the Tennessee Moon
'cause if you got the blues or you are feeling low down
It's guaranteed to change that tune
I don't need no nightclub, no fancy downtown scene
I know a spot that's quiet, where the grass is cool and green
And we can kick off our shoes and go waltzing around
Underneath the Tennessee Moon
First thing in the morning, I jump back in the race
but I run the whole day long with a smile upon my face
'cause when this day is finally through
I know what we're going to do
Were gonna kick off our shoes and go waltzing around
Underneath the Tennessee moon
'cause if you've got the blues or you are feeling low down
It's guaranteed to change that tune
Tell me I'm old fashioned, that's alright
It may not be real hip, but what I want to do tonight
Is just kick off our shoes and go waltzing around
Underneath the Tennessee moon
Underneath the Tennessee moon

I'll Go Where You Go

by Adie Grey & Jan Buckingham 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
I was on my way, I was on my own 
I was not afraid of life alone 
Then you came to me like a beacon in the night 
And you made me see a better way of life 
I will go where you go and live where you live 
All I have I will give 
Where the sun is shining or whining winds blow 
As long as we’re together, I’ll follow you forever 
I’ll go where you go 
When the times are hard and the road gets rough 
When the dreams I have are not enough 
I will turn to you when the nights are long 
For it’s your love so true that keeps me strong 
I will go where you go and live where you live 
All I have I will give 
Where the sun is shining or whining winds blow 
As long as we’re together, I’ll follow you forever 
I’ll go where you go 
I’ll go where you go 
I’ll go where you go

Better With Time

by Adie Grey and Dave MacKenzie 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
Some folks love the thrill of taking chances 
Some folks love to gamble with their hearts 
They play across a string of new romances 
They say the fire burns hottest at the start 
Well, I have left that kind of love behind me 
I've seen too many flames die out too fast 
I knew if true love's ever gonna find me 
I would have to take my time and learn to make it last 
Like the new blue jeans and a good red wine 
Some things only get better with time 
The sweetest fruit ripens on the vine 
Our love only gets better with time 
Our love only gets better with time 
I have heard that foolin' round's in fashion
They say that bein' faithful's out of style.
'and married life will always lose it's passion.
When I hear them talk that way, I look at you and smile

I Got You Now

by Dave MacKenzie and Adie Grey 
© Hey Baby! Ditties, ASCAP
I've been lonely a whole year 
turn around and then you're here 
One thing Darlin' that I know 
I got you now and I won't let go 
I got you now and I won't let go 
From the day that I met you 
Just no way to forget you 
Kiss me once and we'll both know 
I got you now and I won't let go 
I got you now and I won't let go 
I got you now and I won't let go 
I'm stepping right up and telling you so 
waiting for an answer and I won't take no 
I got you now and I won't let go 
I got you now I won't let go 
I've been sad and I've been blue 
But you’ve got me feeling brand new 
we know how to make our love grow 
I got you now and I won't let go 
I got you now and I won't let go

(There's Got To Be) A Better Way

by Dave MacKenzie 
© 1988 Star Struck Angel Music
There's got to be a better way for me 
Tho' I can't say what that way may be 
Thru darkest night there is a light I see 
And I know there's got to be a better way 
I work hard in the factory 
Like a slave is how they're treating me 
But in my heart and in my mind I'm free 
And I know there's got to be a better way 
I go out parading on the town 
I stay up till every place shuts down 
Come morning light I'm still looking 'round 
'cause I know there's got to be a better way 
Now and then I feel the need to pray 
I tune in to what the preachers say 
They say send your money in today 
And I know there's got to be a better way
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